So, You Want a Girlfriend?
Instead of asking women what they bring to the table, ask them this…
“What’s something you can offer your future husband that you haven’t given to any other man?”
Let’s Go 2 Work.
So, lately you’ve been saying to yourself, “I kind of want a girlfriend.” Sir, I completely understand, for even God declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) But before you rush to give any old 304 this coveted title, I want you to think about a few things you may not have considered…
-You’re going to have to wear matching themed outfits on Halloween
-You gonna have to wear matching themed outfits for no reason
-Forget about resting on your days off and get ready to attend every single function that she wants to go to including: family reunions, family karaoke night, Friendsgiving's, couple’s brunch, couple’s dinner, couple’s game night, concerts involving her celebrity crushes, Saturdays at Bath& Body Works, Valentine's day, weddings, work parties with co-workers she hates, birthday parties for toddlers that’s not even gonna remember the damn party, etc.
-Say goodbye to peace and say hello to extreme stress, anger, angst, insecurity, volatility, and confusion
-Say hello to the thankless role of being her personal photographer, chauffer, food go-getter, errand man, mover man, the issue was totally preventable but no worries cuz you the fixer man, emotional tampon, punching bag, slave
-Prepare to feel lonelier than when you were alone
-When it should be about you, it will always become about her
-She will hide a great number of things from you on a regular basis including: all the simps she keeps in her orbit who’s patiently waiting for the day you mess up, all the simps she loves to flirt with because they boost her ego, and drum roll please…all the simps who give her money
-By being your girlfriend, she will be able to save a large amount of bread due to the fact she will be spending all of yours
-She will relentlessly talk about you to…her mamma, her stepdaddy, her siblings, her single friends that feed on misery, her work husband, your enemies, and any stranger who will listen to her negative opinions about you
-She’ll never stop scanning the room for a man who’s smarter, bigger, better, faster, richer
-You will become dead last on her list of priorities
-You’ll become dead last on her list of men she finds…sexy, hot, and attractive because women don’t desire what they already have
-Deciding what to eat will be a forever battle
-Expect more nasty, freaky ass sex, but please understand that it’s temporary and it’s merely a trap to get…your resources, your seed, and/or more of your commitment aka… marriage
Be great outchea.
WALT FACTUAL
